Inside Air Force Airlines

Wait, you mean there’s a way for airplane crews to act that doesn’t involve snooty backtalk? The exclusive Air Force Airline houses not only the roomiest jets but the most attentive and caring crew that you and I will never get to meet. Top government officials have it so easy.

With their own fleet of aircraft, free of cramped seating and questionable foods, it’s a wonder how these officials don’t stay so relaxed that any bill that passes through Congress leaves decided without debate. If they’re tired, they take a nap in their pull-out couch. If they’re hungry, 5-star meal. If they wanna watch some TV, huge wide flatscreen. If they gotta get work done…yeah right.

Did I mention all this was happening on a plane? I’m lucky if the plane I’m flying on has a bathroom that isn’t occupied by the same person the entire flight. Meanwhile these guys get flight attendants from a special Air Force division that are specifically trained for these transport missions. The government has a very eager resume coming its way.