Ray Solar Charger

I dislike the sun. I’ve always said if something doesn’t benefit you directly, get rid of it. Unfortunately I lack the technology and Senate approval to do that, so I’ve just had to bear through it. Until now. The Ray Solar Charger ($39.99 pre-sale) harnesses the energy given off by this once useless ball in the sky to do something of true, great importance…charge my iPhone.

Forget photosynthesis and tanning, the sun has now become a true contributor to society. Place the suction cups (my favorite type of cups) of the charger on your aircraft’s windshield and connect it to your device (can be any type of phone) and enjoy infinitely free energy. Well, pay the $39.99 pre-sale and then it’s free. And in those moments when you need to charge a dead phone and there’s no sun, the Ray Solar Charger has a battery that stores enough energy to fully charge a cellphone. Charge in your car, on a bus, even in a plane. Pre-order the Ray and never deal with a dead phone again. On a side note, why do super-villains always want to create a machine that makes infinite energy?