How to Wash a Commercial Plane

Wait…there’s no plane wash like the one I put my car through? People actually have to put in manual labor to wash one of these? The only time I’d want people washing my vehicle by hand is if it involved bikinis and fundraising for a team of some sort, at least that way I feel like I gave to a charity.

Southwest Airlines has been known to run a tight (and clean) ship when it comes to keeping planes top-notch, and washing is no exception. Every six months these planes come in for a wash and come out 5 hours later looking spotless and immaculate. But the reason for washing these planes isn’t to make them look nicer, although the pilots wouldn’t be able to pick up as many chicks if they had a grimy aircraft. The planes are cleaned mainly to make it easier for inspectors to do their jobs looking at components and such. Message to Southwest: Where can I acquire some of that heavy-duty soap you used to scrub the jet down? I’m in need of a good wash after how dirty the TSA made me feel.