Sky Diving Into Active Volcano

There just aren’t enough things to do in Russia. Valery Rozov was probably under the same influence as these guys when he skydived (skydove?) into the burning sulphur and scorching lava of an active volcano. I wouldn’t be surprised if next week we found him in a mental asylum or dead with a suicide note, because this stunt is suicidal.

A little too much Red Bull got him all hyped up for this wingsuit wonder-dive, and I’m sure we all know what a little too much Red Bull is capable of doing. Roberta Mancino is sponsored by Red Bull as well, so I’m starting to think their qualifications for sponsorship are completely crazy and extremely wild. So why isn’t Charlie Sheen sponsored by Red Bull? Also what’s with all these extreme skydivers never showing emotion when they do something incredible like LAND IN AN ACTIVE VOLCANO. It’s as if they jump out of the helicopter and suddenly become practitioners of stoicism. For example this guy lands and says nothing more than “What’s happened? We jump inside the creator.” I think he read that phrase in Nonsensical English for Russians for Dummies. He has to be a dummy if he’s willing to dive into just about the hottest thing on Earth. Maybe he thought the snow would cool him down.