Glow in the Dark Jeans

No longer do I have to wake up the chick whose apartment I’m in while I look for my jeans to make a getaway. With Glow in the Dark Jeans ($TBA), one night stands go smoother for guys and give twice the heartache to women. Phosphorescent coating is applied to the fabric and is later baked in so that the jeans absorb light in the day and break hearts at night. Not only do they “charge” with sunlight but with any artificial bulb as well and if you hold it under a blacklight, the glow is intensified. Eventhough the jeans have been tested to last a lifetime, washing them will naturally wear the glow out little by little so refrain from washing them everyday or take them to the dry cleaners (who washes jeans anyways?). Just like how underwear conforms to the shape of your body the more you wear it, the glow will begin to fade in certain parts of the jean as you break them in. This makes for an awesome pattern that differs from that of everyone else who buys the jeans. And there’s no need to concern yourself with the possibility of radiation (although an enlargement mutation in the crotch area would be icing on the cake), the phosphorescent coating is free of superhero-making chemicals. Stylish by day, awing by night. Don’t be a hipster and wait for these jeans to go out of style, buy your pair today.