Why You Can’t Use Your Cellphone on a Plane

TSA Agents feel no remorse in trashing your luggage and throwing away my expensive colognes (as if it were a deadly weapon, and the use of that weapon would be prevented by putting it in a Ziploc). Their job is to stop any potentially dangerous items from boarding the plane (well, with some exceptions), so why do they all neglect to confiscate the one device that can bring down the entire plane? Cellphone use has always been banned from use in planes for the theory that they interfere with the plane’s electronic systems, causing it to crash (pun intended). But the truth is that the chances of this catastrophe occurring are virtually non-existent. The true terrorists here are the usual evil-doers: the cell phone companies. Making a call at 35,000 feet in the air causes your signal to bounce off hundreds of towers at once, requiring a ton of roaming agreements. Now we all know nothing is free, and none of us are gonna pay more money for a service that’s already expensive enough as it is, so the government decided just to ban cellphone use altogether. In some aspects the ban is a blessing, saving you from having to hear 50 simultaneous conversations about how excited passengers are for their Sandals vacation.